The heavy humid air felt stagnate from the days of rain, and still contained an over abundance of water droplets that clung to every surface. Dripping wet out, the fog felt like smoke in that it seemed warmer than the actual air temperature and it was thick. I noticed at first, the chill from the almost nonexistent movement of air that al but disappeared rather quickly after a block. I had my heavy fall coat, and Riley, he had on his red plaid coat. It was a good purchase buying the little guy a coat. He seemed happy to be walked running ahead, then waiting for me, but clearly wasn’t cold.
It amazed me how still and quiet it was on our walk, virtually no one was out, and while it wasn’t ideal weather, it was pleasant. Walking through the neighborhood the beauty of the fall season wasn’t missed on me, Riley on the other hand was just interested in smelling everything and doing his business.
For forty-five minutes Riley trotted along, and I took in the beauty of the fall foliage. The contrast of green grass against the dark bark and red, orange, yellow and green leaves, caused me to pause often as we walked, to just look. Looking down at my dog, and the lead he was on, I knew how blessed I was, but it didn’t stop unproductive thoughts from coming.
I am no egghead, by any means, but I do think I have an intelligence about me and how I see the world. I am intuitive and thoughtful and in tune with the world around me. As often as I can I try to see perspectively with an open mind and heart, and not judge. Yet with the upheaval and drastic change my life recently experienced I had to put away thinking and trying to analyze the situation and just accept it. Don’t get me wrong, by accepting things as they are in no way means I am ok with the circumstances, but sometimes you just need to take a step back to absorb everything.
Right now, at this time of my life I have more than ever learned so much about myself and the inner strength I have. Of course I am affected by everything I am dealing with, but I choose to take it as an experience of growth and see it as something positive for my overall wellbeing. If I had to choose having the experiences I have had as of late, I would never have had any of the experiences, but I am having them and I need to make the best out of it. As much as I can I have been embracing what comes my way, standing back to assess and see perspective and not dwell or over process the thoughts. Above all I am living my life and moving forward.
I cannot change the past, so I choose to embrace it as an expression of the person it has made me. Within me I feel how I have changed into a more accepting and kinder person and I trust myself in ways I should have long ago, in addition my self esteem is stronger than it has ever been.
From the hardest and most difficult of times we can have the most profound times of growth, I am proof of that. I will continues to embrace the changes in my life and learn from them even if they are life changing. After all it is more important to be happy and that has always been obtainable for me!