Most of our life is about wants and desires. We lust after and for a tangible item to quell our fantasy of what we are hopping to gain or achieve. Most times we lust for sexual desires, the same desires that fill our mind.
Imagined or not how do you communicate you desire for nonsexual intangible items?
I recently read a post on Facebook
I lust for a relationship that is well rounded, where my emotional needs, my attributes and skills are also found to be just as appealing as my sexual assets (or lack there of). For me it has been far more important to be acknowledged for who I am as a person and not what I have as a woman.
Sex is an innate part of who we are, much more so than letting someone know they are valued for so much more.
Constantly imply and saying you want someone turns you into a possession and I feel the value of who I am is lost. Regardless if sex is an innate part of who we are, as a species we have evolved to use our emotions, thoughts and feelings to convey a deeper bond. Sex alone doesn’t make you close to someone, not in a way that will fulfill you in any meaningful way that can be sustained.
The fundamentals of any great relationship are based on respect, kindness, openness and having a friendship first and foremost. Sex alone is not an adequate form of expression, and it should supplemental to the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, there certainly are times one has sex just for the pleasure, but ultimately if you want your relationship to be well rounded other needs must be nourished with the same drive. (Pun intended)
I am not a woman who wants to be taken care of. I am more than capable, strong and can stand on my own two feet. What I want is someone that will allow me to be who I am, by letting me shine or falter without thinking they must save me or be ashamed of me. At the same time I want to know I have them for support and can draw from them, and them from me.
I’ve learned a hard lesson, but a good one. People are who they are, you cannot mold or change them, even if they lead you to believe they want what you want. It has taken me way too long to see words and actions must match. It doesn’t matter what they say, if their actions don’t follow what they say and vice versa, it isn’t going to happen. No amount of trial and error or convincing will change the outcome if you keep using the same elements. Yes I know you want to believe, but it won’t make it true.
I’m extremely willing and capable of face what life has in store for me. If for any other reason than because this is my life and I have a stake in its outcome. I am not going to let days pass into years, and come to find out I let happiness slip through my fingers.
Great things happen, terrible awful things happen, it’s part of life. Guess what?! I’m here to experience it al! Learning to lust for what really matters as I work to find it, will just increase my drive. It’s there, but like anything (good or bad) it takes time.