I pose a question: If one doesn’t have many friends, but one (close one), and over all that friend is not a good person in general, but to you they are pretty good, is that a person you should keep as a friend? Is there a justifiable way of keeping a person like that in your close circle, when you know they have done awful things? What does that say about you as the friend that has someone in their life like that?
My personal opinion, it matters greatly. If a person is inherently a dishonest manipulative person it shouldn’t matter if you have no friends, standing by and keep a friend that treats people in a manner you would not, in my mind is altering your values and settling. As people we have free will to make friends and it is our choice how many friends we have and the quaintly of friendships we have. Allowing a
shallow non- caring person, who is fundamentally amoral and lies into your close circle says volumes about who you are, and what you will allow as a person. I’m not ok having it justified, well so and so doesn’t have many friends, and might not understand what a real friend is or the qualities it would entail.
Mind you I totally respect the person who talked to me about this, as well as her point of view. However after careful consideration and deep though, I came to the conclusion that the opinion that she believes and carries is deeply flawed. It is
sidestepping responsibility and accountability for who we choose to associate with. It gives the impression we are similar in content to the person or they could possibly have something to hold over us.
I’m just not of the positional view to believe, “so and so doesn’t have many friends”, so it is ok. No it is not! You stood by and allowed this person to represent your value system because you supported them.
As people we have our integrity and morals to uphold, and if by chance you play with the wrong crowd you are guilty by association. Should I feel sorry for you? No! You made the choice, a free will choice!
You can tell yourself what ever you want, but when it comes down to it, it makes you just like your friend and shows you are no better.
Yes friendship is so important, but a friend normally has similar ways of viewing the world and seeing things.
I know for me this is a huge sticking point, and no amount of justification or explanation will convince me it is appropriate behavior or acceptable.
You can tell yourself what ever you choose to but it the end you and you alone have to live with the choices you made