I woke this morning earlier than when I normally have to get up. I wasn’t excited because I had this big plan to sleep in. I heard the dog scratching at my door, so decided I should get up and take him out. I’m glad I did. The morning, this morning is just perfect. Cool, refreshing and… I don’t have to work! (You should see the smile on my face).
I really do enjoy what I do, but sometimes you just need to step back and take a mental heath day. While I didn’t have to schedule time off, it is an exhilarating feeling knowing I am off like it was
tailor made for me.
Really I’m not off, but I do have a low key day. I’m going to be outside, not really answering to anyone, and enjoying the weather, gardening. It’s a great way for me to regroup emotionally, as I don’t have to use my brain in the same way.
I’ve had so much going on in my personal life and getting away from it isn’t possible. So I regroup in healthy ways. Really for me facing what I must is a necessity, but being able to focus on something else usually gives me the clarity and answers I need.
I’ve worked hard on myself, to evolve, grow and find insight, to be the person I can admire for my strengths and failures. I am certainly not perfect, but by working to improve and accept or change what I don’t like perhaps in time I will find the clarity and fulfillment we all need.
I’m content right now, not happy. Why? I’m being pulled in way to many directions and at this time there are no answers, just more questions.
Those questions just leave a huge gaping darkness of more uncertainty.
As best as I try things just seem to be stagnant. Where is the fairness, when will it be my time. So today while I work, I’ll make it my time, and I’ll hope the answers will come.