With Love

Pluck, pluck, pluck, damn eyebrows.  I hate plucking but I do it so my brows look better, which in turn makes me look better. The worst is when instead of just plucking a hair, I pinch myself and leave a mark.  Ouch!  I rub my brow, wait for the irritation to go away and continue working. Then do it again. I’ve been maintaining my eyebrows, shaving my legs and other areas since I was sixteen.  What a pain. Don’t get me started on bras.  Unlike my 18 year old daughter I have to wear a bra or I look… well… terrible.  

Speaking of my daugher, I told her in a mater of fact motherly way she needed to shave.  She had lifted her arm up and I shielded my eye as if to say it was too gruesome.  She matter of factly told me that it was ok because I was raised when a women’s appearance was disallowed to be natural like men.  That she didn’t have to shave to be be a feminine woman.  I looked at her with my nose scrunched up and said “it’s gross”.   She corrected me and said no it’s natural and my reaction was because of how I was raised.  

While this may be true, I still see it as a necessity.  I like having my eyebrown shapely, my legs and arm pits shaved, and a bra on.  Believe it or not when armpit hair grows at all it irritates me.  For me it isn’t a feminist thing, but for my daugher it totally is. While I don’t definitively think there is a right or wrong answer, I like my way of course:)

I look at my daugher and wonder if it was I and our church who instilled her deep feminist views, her love of activism and her polictial stance, or if it was just who she was and is. In second grade she fell in love with who President Lincoln was and what he stood for and later held the same view of President Obama; It was quiet amazing.  She has always loved being opinionated with her view point and has no issues defending her views or the people she feels are treated with injustice. 

I know she has a far deeper love of politics and has a stronger desire to stand up in a political way for what should be morally and ethically right (in her view). I myself have some of the same views she does, but I do not have the drive to stand up in a political way.  Don’t get me wrong, if I see injustice I will step in, but I don’t go searching for it or have the burning desire to make a name for myself as she seems to. But it isn’t like you think, she wants to be the good we need in life and if politics or activism is the way, she’ll do it.  

Morally and ethically being a stand up person, even when no one is looking is a value I have instilled in my children.  They all have such integrity, a strong drive, and are they type of people who don’t want excuses, they want action. They will stand up for the underdog, push the person not pulling their weight, and make sure they do what they say they will do or watch out.

Saying something isn’t the same as doing, we all know that. My girls are doers, I’m a doer.  I say what I mean, I do what I say and I’m to the point.  If someone asks a question don’t get defensive, become hostile and take out your feelings on others – express yourself, how else do you expect someone to get to know you?  

There is a right and wrong way to say what you mean or ask for something. I guess what I’m saying is we should all be more of a doer, what we say and how we act should mimic one another; i.e. no passive aggressive behavior. Life it too damn short to sit around letting life pass you by, by not being open, honest, having integrity or not being responsible in what you say and how you act.  Besides being forthright is the best way to get to know someone.  

I’m glad I know my children:). They are great people. I’m glad I have the friends I do and the dear people in my life who have such great convitions, and while I won’t make the mark some of my children will, I hope I stay with those that matter. 

With love


4 thoughts on “With Love

  1. I really enjoyed this read. I liked the little dashes of humor and the fact that while you may not agree with your daughter’s ideas on shaving, you support her expressions on why she doesn’t feel the need to. Great post, thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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