A Sunny Disposition

🎶Today is a sunny sunny sunny today is a sunny sunny day.  🎶

Most days when the weather is sunny out we sing this to each child individually.  We take our pointer finger and gently touch the periphery of their face as the song is sung.  The children smile brightly.  

Their faces, and just being around them change my outlook on my own life, daily.  It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself in any capacity for very long, when knowing that their disabilities are lifelong and limit so much of their lives.  However that being said when milestones are met it is a celebration.  

I take such joy in being able to be a part of their life. Helping them helps me especially with how nondirectional my life seems to be as of late.  I feel as if I am stuck in limbo and no amount of leverage I apply helps me move.  Like a heavy rock stuck in a deep divet, you can’t seem to get enough fulcrum applied so the rock will be forced to move.  

I’ve bent every way you can imagine and yet it isn’t enough. My ex is so full of anger and rage toward me and doesn’t care how or what he inflicts.  It’s sad really.  He is the hold up on why we aren’t moving forward.  He would rather make me suffer, for spite it seems.

I’m not really suffering, however life is difficult and at times unhappy but I really try to find something that brings me joy all the time.  The kids I work with are my saviors, as well as the people who have had me do work for them – I’m given purpose, if only for a fleeting momen.  Then of course there are my children and friends, who I love dearly because of who they are. 

I can’t imagine not having the love and support in my life as I do in the ways I’ve been blessed to receive it.  Each and every one of you has shown me love, respect and care.  I am one who will give one hunderd percent, and know if I wasn’t who I was you would not be who you were to me.  

Please to not think for an instant I take anything you have done for me for granted.   Some day I hope I can give back all of the love and support you gave me, because I want you to know I so appreciate it.  I have no idea where my life is going, no one truly does, I just know the road is so much more sunny with you in it.

Today is a sunny sunny sunny today is a sunny sunny day.  


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