Volume of Displeasure 

Exhausted.  I’ve had an increadablly busy day, however I enjoyed every bit of it.  Well, all except for the sheer volume of fighting my youngest instigated.  

I came home around 6 after recieving a plethora of texts of her complaining about her sister and her sister complaining about her.  I know K squared starts things too, but trust me when I say H squared usually is the one to ignite it.  

Tonight I lost it.  I screamed at her and it took every ounce to contain myself.  She (H squared) has to tell her sisters what to do, how to do it or tattle to me.   She was fighting over her I pod nano and how K squared erased it LAST F- ING YEAR!  Searously?  Build a bridge, I even told her that. Usually I can stay in control, but somehow she seemed much worse today.  I’m guessing the wisdoms teeth removal might be part of the issue, but come on.

H squared has had many emotional health issues, and while she is better, she still has a ways to go. Like the song says, ” Let it Go.” If she did or even the other one did…. Can you imagine how much better they’d feel? Hopefully in time she will learn.  

Many times I just ignore what they send me or say to me about one another, but today H squared would not stop.  Every time I closed my bedroom door she would knock and before I would respond she’d throw it open yelling. Trying to call her back to reality and make her think, didn’t help, she wanted to be where she was, or so it seemed.  That’s why I almost lost it. 

The volume of noise, the volume of anger on her part, the volume of complaining, the volume of time wasted, and the volume of life sucked out of me, really?!  

When K squared goes off to college H squared will finally start to realize what I/we have been saying.  You can’t treat people like she does and then wonder why they don’t want to be around you.  You have to be accountable for your behavior and actions, or lack of actions.

None of us should behave like these two did.  Even I have been just as awful at times, and you know what?, it’s gotten me absolutely no where. And yes I can tell her until I’m blue in the face, and yelling (which didn’t help), but until she sees the light it won’t change.  

I’m exhausted, they didn’t help.  Especially when you have a view in your mind of what your expectations are and quite the opposite happens.  I can tell you this, I’m toast.  The life has been sucked out and as soon as I hit send I’m sure I’ll be passed out asleep. 

Fingers crossed tomorrow will be so much better.  At this point it’s all I got.  

One thought on “Volume of Displeasure 

  1. My dad would always say, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” He would lead by example, teach us the best he could but in the end it is us that has to make the choices good or bad to learn our own way.
    Good luck on tomorrow!

    Liked by 1 person

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