My life has taken a few positive turn, in spite of everything I have on my plate. I feel well centered, hopeful and optimistic that my future will be better than my past. I have secured additional summer employment along with working summer school. The kids I work with throughout the year I will have during the summer. (Most of them at least). This is great news for our students who are special needs, they need consistency in their life and I adore them.
I feel like for the first time in my life I belong. I excel at my job and while it benefits the children, it has benefitted me ten fold. I love the incredible feeling I get from the work I do and the purpose it has give me in all aspects of my life. I have developed and grown emotionally into someone I truly like and feel good about being. I can see my value, my skills and talents clearer than I have in my entire life, it is an incredible feeling.
You would think the negative events I have lived through would have defined me in an unhealthy way, and perhaps at a time they did. However, by cutting lose the binding that I allowed to hold me back and by propelling myself with the momentum I found, I now see and feel all the positivity around me that was there all along. With clearer vision you really can see clearer. It has helped me to accept what I cannot change and work on what I can.
I was not considered an optimistic, positive or a happy person, told over and over what was wrong with me, by those who said they loved me. What’s worse is I believed their projections internializing them and owning them. I don’t know what exactly in me changed, but I know my job was an enormous catalyst and mammoth contributor.
The staff I have the pleasure of working with, (a considerably large group), has not once ever said anything negative to me. I was literally dumbfounded by how genuine and sincere their compliments and accolades were and continue to be. Never in all my years have I been told these things: how hard I worked, how insightful I was, how I always had a smile on my face, with the soul purpose of being altruistic and supportive of who I was.
For the first time in my life, I believed the compliments I was given as if it was the first time I was hearing them. You cannot imagine how glorious I felt about who I was, right down to my core. I owe the people I work with more than they cold ever realize. I’m sure they believe I am selfless, and for the most part I believe I am, but what they have done for me has helped develop who I am now, both in my personal and professional life and how I handle what comes my way.
I have excelled by leaps and bounds because of who they are; caring, loving, devoted people. I strive to gain some of their knowledge and as much of their insights, as if I was a dry sponge absorbing liquid for the first time. Each and every one these people are gifted, hardworking and coworkers I look up to.
The healthy way in which the team communicates and interacts, is a testament to who they each are as individuals. Their skill sets and desire to help one another, give to the students and help even me, well if only my marriage had had this dynamic! LOL.
The children I work with, I cannot say enough about, nor the odds they have and continue to overcome. Those little spirits have taught me a thing or two about love, what it means to live, be accepting, and trust. I see the depth in them and potential, how hard they work and the true meaning of what “real” happiness is, as they wear it on their little faces. I see how I have helped mold them and feel how they have changed me, (for the better). Being in their presence has given me a rich deepness and tenderness To my life, I would not have gained had I not changed to my life calling and been give this opportunity.
I am rewarded every day by the people who come into and out of my life, who value and appreciate me and show me what it means to live. If it wasn’t for the wonderful group of people I’m proud to support I would never have made it this far, been able to move forward, take back what’s mine or let go of what wasn’t. Thanks